Play of Life®

Category Archives: Articles

Abstract Relationships are the source of our joy and happiness, just like they can be the cause of painand suffering. Relationships are the most critical capital we could ever have. Relationalexperiences are concrete and clear, ephemeral, fleeting, and timeless. It is possible to forgetan emotion we recently experienced and remember old ones as if they are happening now.When we are happy or content, we may see an event through a rose-colored lens ortragedy in gloomy times. We cannot fully trust our perceptions of relationships; emotionscan overshadow them. Moreno developed psychodrama and sociometry in his geniuscreativity to facilitate a clearer understanding of relational dynamics aimed at relationalchange. RCompass is a digital application that uses Morenian philosophy and techniques tovisualize, map, and clarify how we relate. It provides qualitative and measurable data tomake the appropriate steps towards positive change. Mapping and making sense ofrelationships is pivotal to a better life. Therefore, this…

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Abstract This paper is about the value of using small figures and props in systemic therapy and presents two novel digital programs designed for data tablets and personal computers. People in my Life and Play of Life have been developed independently by the authors to facilitate communication and insight and they are presented together with their different theoretical and methodological backgrounds and brief case studies. The authors point to the general contribution of figures in conversation and comment on why digital versions can also have their place in a therapist’s repertoire, no matter what their approach.

It takes two to tango!  The elegant Argentinean Tango that appears to be a highly structured, planned, and choreographed performance is surprisingly an improvised dance with no rules, where chaos coordination is required through continuous connection and mutual trust. Spontaneity and creativity come together, resulting in two satisfied players who have mutually created a spectacle of beauty, movement, and passion. The watchers, observers or audience have admired with envy, fascination and “I want it too”. The same applies to relationships. Improvisation – No Rules – Chaos – Coordination Required – Connection – Communication In tango, we have: “Two people, Four legs, but only One Heart.” The art, in tango, is to navigate through the chaos of a dance floor, avoid obstacles, all while enjoying the depth of the “encounter.” Who leads? To achieve this, it is better if one of the two is appointed safety officer (the leader). This role…

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The two chairs placed in a 45o angle represent a meeting of two people sharing intimacy and relational freedom. They are part of an original logo that had two parts, a stage and the chairs. The stage represents the “stage of life” where we live. Aboriginal artist Bronwyn Bancroft developed this original design in 1991. It depicts: The two chairs represent two people in the relationship who can openly communicate with each other and have the freedom to expand their thinking, beliefs, and interests without the other person feeling rejected. This is what Martin Buber calls I and Thou relationships. This is the goal of Active Learning International. This sitting differs from two people sitting one in front of the other that can represent intimacy and confrontation. When in intimacy, the two are enjoying closeness and togetherness. Simultaneously, both share the same thinking or beliefs. But if one ventures into new…

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In this article, we use the word “team” but note that this is also applicable to our personal relationships with our families, partner and friends. Please interchange the term “team” with “family” or “friends” as necessary. Working as one team is not a new idea. It’s the centre for community building. The idea of creating “community” at work is not a “wishy-washy, soft-touch” superficial concept. It’s vital for sustainable organisational success. As it takes a “village to raise a child”, it takes a “village to succeed through change”. Anthropologists and sociologists tell us that communities that don’t work together cannot innovate and would greatly suffer through change and even cease to exist. A common strategy of colonisers-invaders was to weaken community trust, foster gossip, to create wedges to disrupt communications in the “village”. Villages have successfully faced and thrived through change by practising: •A deepening sense of unity and pride. •Chatting with…

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Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. We hear this phrase often and it sounds great, but how can we practically apply it to our lives?One simple way is what we call Active Roles. We actively play many roles in life in response to each person with whom we interact at any particular time. We’re not talking here about social roles such as policeman, a mother or father, but about the dynamic at play. These are Active Roles, and they are the essence of our behaviour. They consist of a Feeling + an Action For example: Purposeful Encourager Resentful Carer Confident Boundary-Setter Resigned Complier FEELING  ACTION Active Roles can be: Constructive | Fragmenting | Ambivalent Constructive Roles (C) A constructive role grows you as a person. When you play a constructive role it enhances your life and brings about a sense of fulfilment.…

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In this article, we use the word “team” and refer to leadership and business but note that this is also applicable to our personal relationships with our families, partner and friends. Nature and biology are great teachers where we can learn about systems and processes and use them as metaphors for living. We know that everything that comes into our body must go out; if not, we’ll become sick and may even die. The following metaphor is taken from physiology. It may sound rather grotesque, but it’s a reality for everyone independent of their social position. It’s the digestion process called metabolism. Whatever we eat will be broken down into tiny particles where some will be absorbed as nutrients; this process is called anabolism. The rest is excreted through the lungs, kidneys, skin, and digestive system called catabolic waste. This process is regulated through homeostasis and temperature regulation. It’s like a car…

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Are we really working? This article challenges some of the ways in which we are operating in the business world; in an apparent culture of entitlement, where rights and obligations have become unbalanced. It focuses on the difficulty some leaders/bosses have in confronting low performance and low accountability. Expending energy at work does not mean we’re working Often times, we find ourselves working very hard, for long hours and for extended periods of time, and as a result, we often feel tired, exhausted and with no energy or drive left in us for our own personal enjoyment, family and friends. We oftentimes even catch ourselves saying things like, “I’ve been working so hard,” and we hear our family or friends say, “You are working way too hard, are you a workaholic?” But are we really working? What if I find out, after so much ‘work’, that my work has not been…

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Leaders take one of the most explored topics in business articles and MBA programs and we forget, sometimes, that we’re leading, well or not so well, all the way in everything we do in life, as Chris Lowney expresses in his book “Heroic Leadership”. Parenting is one of the roles that can give us some connections into the no so mysterious role of leadership. It’s time to demystify leadership.   [embeddoc url=”http://www.relationship.capital/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Parent-Leader.pdf” download=”all”]  Parent – Leader On the last Father’s day in Australia. I was writing some SMS’s to fathers I know from family or friends. While I was writing “happy father’s day” to a leader I’ve been coaching for a long time, knowing how dearly he had his children at heart, it came to me that he’s also a great leader and aspires to be an even greater leader. While writing, I connected in my mind the key roles…

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